To Be Chosen Or Needed: You Pick
Over the years I have worked with many couples that are trying to ‘fix’ their marriage. My wife and I have gone through phases where we’ve tried to ‘fix’ our marriage. Maybe there have been seasons in your relationships that things needed ‘fixed.’
Just stop for a moment and think about this word ‘fix.’ Does it really make sense? Maybe when you need your car repaired. You can go to the parts store and get the parts you need to fix it. Maybe the air conditioner at your house is broken. You can call someone to fix it. Things can be fixed. But people? Relationships? Is it really possible for people to be fixed? I really don’t think so.
One myth we have bought in to that, I believe, has hindered so many relationships is this: I NEED you in order to live. Remember the movie Jerry McGuire? Think back on the famous scene where Jerry looks at his wife, with all the emotion he can muster he says, ‘You complete me.’ All at once every women in the theater swooned as Tom Cruise’s character worked his magic. Don’t kid yourself ladies, you all wished that would have been you he was talking to! The problem with that statement is simple: how can I ever complete someone when I am just as broken and messed up as they are? Two broken, incomplete people CANNOT form one healthy relationship! It doesn’t work that way! Because of all this messed up thinking we have bought, I came up with a principle that really isn’t new. It’s in fact an age old principle that I just put in ‘Mitch talk’ so I could understand it better. I like to call it a ‘Mitchism.’ It is simply this: It is better to be chosen than needed. I would much rather be chosen by someone than be needed. I would much rather go into a relationship with someone that was willing than with someone that thought they had to be there. I would much rather have employees that chose to work for me than those that just worked for a pay check. I would much rather be a chosen employee than a slave.
You see, when we go in to a relationship knowing we are chosen, then we are more willing to participate in developing this relationship. We look at each other from a totally different perspective. We view each other in simple terms instead of seeing each other’s faults and failures. When relationships are chosen, they are full of grace, forgiveness and love. Whether it be a business or a marriage, it is always best to be chosen.
